Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Bring me that man meat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
