I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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