We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
