I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
