can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
