i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
