So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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