It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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