Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she told me i tasted like america
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
