Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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