I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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