And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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