u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
