i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
