If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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