i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
