Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
