Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize