ya dads aren't the best wingmen
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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