Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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