There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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