How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just forgot I was standing up.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
