i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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