he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
