i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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