There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
