Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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