just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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