Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to sanitize my soul.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
