Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
