I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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