You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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