She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
