i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
