UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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