I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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