Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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