I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
