either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
