We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
