I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm always down for nudity.
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