Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
