First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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