I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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