i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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