And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
