Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
