How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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