I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
