I am spending my child support on dildos
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
