Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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