official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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