we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
