Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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