My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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