we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
