I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
