im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize