She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
