Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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