She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
