OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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