i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
